Went out and met some old friends and some new this evening. It was a nice break from the usual and from everyday loneliness. I can’t do this sort of this very often — need my alone times to recharge plus these type of drink and dine outings get expensive. Luckily, I’ve had plenty of alone time recently and a friend treated me this evening so it was all good today.
I do wish it were possible and acceptable to hang out in less expensive places though. Growing up and all the way through college, the beach was the standard hangout spot. It’s inexpensive and inclusive and just plain fun. You can get street food type things to eat, there’s a nice cool breeze without the AC coldness of these bar and restaurant places (forgot my wrap and started feeling like I was freezing towards the end) and there’s no cover charge. I suggested it as a meeting spot for the future and got turned down. 😦
House parties are nice too but someone has to be willing to play host. Friend wanted to have a house warming at my new place and I had to shoot that down quickly. I’ve just moved into a conservative lower income families-only type place with my landlady’s family staying right above. They would find it weird for me, a single woman, to be entertaining male friends, let alone having a whole party.
Add to that, my place isn’t really furnished to host people. I have exactly 2 chairs — one for my bedroom and one for my living room. And no plans to get anything more in the near future. Guess my friend who is used to living a certain dare I say posh lifestyle can’t even imagine that someone could have such a bohemian home. No tables, no couches? What even!
I actually lived like this for the longest time in the US because I wasn’t sure when I would have to leave the country and didn’t want to invest in furniture. Funnily enough, it was immediately after I finally got a proper house and furniture (because my parents simply refused to visit me without all that in place) that I got laid off. Thus proving my earlier wisdom true. Was such a pain getting rid of all that stuff. Not making that mistake again.
Besides, I’m not really big on playing host. It’s too much work and too stressful. Have always hated having people over, even friends. Somehow I’m very protective of my living space. It’s mine and I keep it a certain way and am quite obsessive about it. The smallest disarrangement bothers me. I realise this is a very unfair position to take considering I am all for dropping in one people without much notice even. But it’s just how it is.
And this is why meeting at a neutral place would be nice. But for some reason, a certain class of people are finicky about where to meet. A public place like a beach or a park or something doesn’t suit them. I do wonder why. A bar isn’t exactly a private place. There was quite the crowd where we went today and it was noisier than any other public space would be. Worse since everyone is confined in this small space. At least in a beach the noise would be more diffuse. Must be the type of crowd then. Either the class of people or the fact that it will be a mixed crowd of families and kids also present. I don’t see the problem with that personally. I like the democracy of such spaces. Everyone has an equal right to them and I’m happy to share there.
Idk, just a bit bummed and annoyed without being able to quite put the finger on why. I think this unspoken elitism bothers me. Also, while I am from the same class and privilege as these friends, my current income puts a rung below and I want to live within my means. It’s like that FRIENDS episode where Phoebe, Rachel and Joey feel like they’re being forced to spend more than they can afford just because their friends don’t stop to think about this factor. I don’t like being pressured into spending more than I want to nor do I want charity.
Guess I’m not as happy with today’s outing as I thought, heh. Anyway, it’s almost 1 am and I need to go to bed so I’ll end my rambling here for now. There is something insidious here though that needs to be addressed.
Ramble With(out) A Cause 